The Hotel Cavalier

2007-01-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

CARTOGRAPHY

She buys a torn and faded map
All the continents

are misshapen
The rivers smudged.

Her faith is inexhaustible.

So here I am
The bridge she will never cross.

The Cataratic mapmaker rubbing his
Eyes knowing only one route.

I stand on the other side
Watch her put on a mask
So we will know exactly

How she feels, watch
Her turn away
With map in hand

Watch her
As she gets
Smaller
And smaller.

I am on the otherside
Sitting on a chair in an empty room

In an abandoned house,
The windows have been boarded shut.

With my finger I erase
A ring of water
Left behind by her glass
It is true that I loved her

I am gaunt and my ribs
Are showing.

2007-01-07T09:32:00.000-08:00

THE ECONOMY OF LOVE

The contradictions of strength
Iron versus Spider Thread. ( Misconception )
Surface thoughts ( Pre-conception)

To settle: to stop searching { macro}
To settle down: To start living ===attention to detail. (micro)
To settle: To give up.

Opportunity costs = give this up for that,

“What am I worth to her?”
Economy / Exchange
Market pressure.

The invisible hand
Of a divisible God.
Quid Pro Quo = this for that.
Short changed=Jipped, Jewed.

I sold a cow
for a bag
of magical beans

and she is angry
and doesn't understand.

She gives me coal
I give her back diamonds.
My hands bloody from
Parlor Tricks.

Slight of Hand = She loves me
Now she doesn’t

Opportunity costs and the
Point of diminishing returns.

Today is Black Monday
The great crash
Men jumping out of windows like lead love-birds

It’s 1929 again
The beginning of the great depression.

copyright c.a. leibow 2007

2007-01-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

I BUILD A WALL

Of broken
Nights and shattered
Mornings that have
Been cast off to the
Side of the road.

To separate us -

Because I loved
Too much,
I take my
Blue excesses
And mix it
With the mortar
Reinforcing it.

*

Because I loved
Too Much
I dig a new ocean
Deeper than
My longing

To divide us -

People always
Asking about my
Soiled clothes.

I tell them,
"I am building
A wall
An Ocean
A Boundary

Because
I loved
Too much."

*

Because I loved you
Too much
I am dismantling our

Memories piece by
Piece, cataloging
Them away with

Tags that I make
From the scratching
Sound of sad old phonographs,

I file away the last one
As the music slows

Even slower till the springs
Unwind.

2006-05-04T07:07:00.000-07:00

Salarium

You have paid
me in salt for love

From the sea I take
More to preserve my

Heart, my heart cured by love –
Like brine softening olives —takes
That which is incapable
Of being obtained and
Changes it.

The salt in my sweat
Now on my tounge
Reminds me —She
Loved me once

The salt

Stealing
The water from
My eyes.

Burns.

Copyright c.a. leibow 2006

2006-05-04T07:04:00.000-07:00

Love has its own agenda.
After Arthur Sze

An old man carrying flowers across the street
Is hushed forever.

A cracked window is shut, letting
A red throated sparrow back into the sky.

I see man turn a corner running from a woman
— Unable to recognize his lover any more.

See a man sitting in a park wrapping
Barbed wire around his chest.

Dark bouquets hanging from the trees.

I see a photograph of a smiling couple –
It has been torn and taped together time
And time again.

I meet a woman, who was abandoned by
Her father but found another — wondering
If he’ll ever come home.

I know a man who studied anatomy
To find a way to replace his heart —
Inventing a pump without heat.

A philosopher argues that the fundamental
Difference between Night
And Day is the shade of fate.
Lovers struggling against
The cold hearts current.
Oblivious

copyright c.a. leibow 2006

2006-04-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

Falling

Of what
could have

been I make
An empty bed

Of dark Roses —
Of falling. And I lie.

—Love is a Church.
No — Love is

A forced march
Toward that Last

Moment —

My whole life
Held in one final
gesture

— That becomes a hole Or
— The thirsty mouth of a Well
— Or the ashes of a charred dog

I lie in my bed
The night is still
As lover’s sleeping, Truly Love is a wound upon a wound.

I finally fall
Asleep to the yowling
Of a chained cat.

c.a. leibow Copyright 2006

2006-04-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

AT SEA

I fall asleep with you and wake
Up in the middle of the night holding

A whale bone. The bedroom
Floor has turned into a blue black
Sea, where mermaids with
Sharp faces and angry

Mouths sing to me.
The song does not comfort

And the tune is off key.
I lie back down and

The same sea sinks into
My head. Where the bell of a bouy

Rings a strange clanging
Reminding me of your name.

So I listen hard, trying to find
You. The salt in my eyes making

It hard to hear. I fall back asleep dreaming
Of deep water, and the light above

Me fading.

Copyright c.a. leibow 2006

2006-04-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

OH HER....

Her eyes are like the mouth of a gun
and its cold blue bang and I am wounded
and I bleed like a run over Dog.

and Her lips

Her lips are the quivering Meat
of a heart And I am ravenous. I wander
digging in knocked over trashcans.

and Her hands

Her hands are like the bite of Vise
Grips™ She clamps my mouth shut
And I am silent
And I am silent as she cuts me

and her body
.
Her body is like a shipwreck
run a ground. The tide teasing me
like the pulse of a lover. I am drowning
Slowly, Slowly like a fish on a bed

Of Blood red Coral
She swims away
from me her hair
like the wake
of shark, trailing behind her.

Copyright c.a. leibow 2006

2006-04-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

untitled

The night punishes
Me for my longing.

This night; That has become
A book refusing to speak

Of anything except deserted
Buildings and empty treeless
Streets, where even mournful
Violins can’t weep.

This night abuses
Memory. Bruises
With its silence. — is a room

Without doors, is a room that
Speaks in gasping tones—
Reciting

An inventory
Of my missteps

Copyright 2006 c.a. leibow

2006-04-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

THE THESPIAN
for Ali

I can’t do it anymore,
Being in love alone.
Because the sky weighs
Too much and the things
You want without me
Set my fields on fire.

Afraid — I told you that you were
Not in love with me anymore—
Your silence was my
Desolation —

So I left you and wandered
The courts looking for where
I lost you and angels of memory

Followed — pointing to moments that
Replay themselves on projectors — over
And over again. I call out your name

Down the same walkway I chased you.
“Alley Cat,” Hey, Alley Cat”

—That day I could have walked
away but didn’t .

The light from the projectors
Flicker like ghostly players on a
Stage and those watching clap
With glee —

While my fields are full
Of flames and rain is but a silly dream

Copyright 2006 c.a. leibow

2006-04-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

REINING IN

What can I say?
But that the world

Has become heavier
My clothes don’t feel right

And my left hand is scribbling
A dark sobbing language

I don’t understand.
What can I say?

But that my heart
Is an angry horse

Snorting its resentment
At being ridden hard —

Away from home
Or the taste of home

Or the hope of home.—
That place where roses

Are bruised. Where the
Skin is tattooed by ropes.

Where I can’t even
wrestle sleep. What

can I say? That the reigns
are Tangled? My arms

Are weary? That I want
To let the horse run free?

What can I say to a world on fire?
Or to the little boy trembling
In my eyes — ?

Copyright 2006 c.a. leibow